Update

I had my ultrasound on Monday and I have a couple of problems....but when haven't I had problems??  The first one is I have a HUGE cyst on my left ovary. It is completely squishing my left ovary you couldn't even see it on the screen.  Crazy! I am not too worried about this or shocked. The night before I told my honey that I know I have cyst I can feel it! Plus my first IVF cycle I had one on my right side.  So nothing new or scary.  My second problem is that I have a mature egg in my right ovary.  Lets just say my ovaries are struggling! It measured a size 14 ready to harvest! 

They are more concerned about this egg seeing how I have been on Lupron for a week.  This is not suppose to be happening.  So the plan is to stay on Lupron for another week and have another ultrasound on Monday.  Hopefully my cyst will be gone and the egg will be shrinking with the Lupron.  If this is the case I will start my egg simulating meds on Monday as scheduled.  If not they will just have to hold off and see what happens.  Either way I am not worried or freaked out. 

I am surprised that I am not stressing out about this. My old self would panic and be distraught over the results of my ultrasound. But I have been through this all before and am ready for whatever happens. I think what needs to happen will and I will be okay. I just want everything to perfect for my cycle and my Dr. won't let me start unless it is. That makes me feel good! 

Hoping I have good new Monday! 

Lupron Shots!

I started my Lupron shots this week.  They aren't so bad.  Just one little shot in my tummy every night.  I make my honey do it cause I just can't!  Thanks goodness he isn't a wimp!   What Lupron does it put you into a mini menopause. They want to make sure my ovaries are nice and quiet before they give me the hormones to produce eggs.  The really fun side affect of Lupron....yep you guessed it more headaches!  

Other than the headaches I am doing well. I have my good and bad days.  I go from being excited to extremely terrified.  I just hope it works out this time.  I just don't know how to deal if I have another miscarriage. 

Hormones,Headaches, & Progesterone

I am almost two weeks into my birth control and I am dying. The hormone change has been giving me intense migraines. I am having at least 2-3 a week. I finally broke down and called the clinic to complain. Also to discuss when exactly I have to give up all my migraine medicine and diet coke! Two things I never leave home without! I actually got some good news.  They are going to let me stay on my migraine medicine up until my transfer. I however am going to start to wean myself off it and diet coke at the the same time.  They are also going to switch my birth control to a progesterone based one instead of a estrogen based one.  Thanks heavens!!! Progesterone is so much better!! So hopefully my migraines will start to get better with the change.  

Migraines and Test Results

I heard back from the fertility clinic today about my 12 vials of blood.  And surprise surprise there is nothing wrong.  When I got the news I must admit I didn't feel any sense of relief. I actually was upset. I don't know if it was because I had yet another migraine today or if there is nothing wrong with me than maybe this round of IVF won't work either.  Maybe the problem is just me. No strange disease. No crazy genetic thing.  Maybe it is just like my migraines I have them and no on can tell me why. Every test comes out normal.  There are no answers.  

So today was an emotional day of just wishing someone could find something wrong with me. 

At least I would have an answer. 

Round Three Here We Go!

After a lot of soul searching and finally making up my mind I have officially started my 3 IVF cycle!  Can you all believe it??? Did you ever think it would happen?? 

Well I did call the Dr. and he had 12 yes 12 vials of my blood drawn and I am just waiting for the results to come back. I am trying to be fearless and not think about what they are looking for! However, I must admit that I am really excited and do feel at peace with my decision to try again.  Right now I am just on the birth control...for all you that don't know about IVF cycles they have you go on birth control for at least 3 weeks before you start the  egg stimulation meds.  They want to be able to completely control your ovaries! Fun fun fun!  

So far the birth control is making my headaches worse! And it's making me a little more emotional. But what can you do??

Today I talked to my nurse and got my IVF calendar!  So I will keep you all posted of my appointments,  test results and so on!  

Stay Tuned!

Migraines

I don't think that I have mentioned in any of my previous post but I suffer from migraines. Horrible migraines. They put me flat in bed. No light, sounds, smells, food, or water for me for at least 12 hours.  Anyway, I had one today. I am finally feeling better now.  But the whole time that I am laying there in bed wishing I could just cut my head off.  I wonder how in the world could I have a baby when my head hurts this bad? How  could I take care of a screaming baby when I can hardly lift my head up? These migraines aren't just once every few months. I get at least 2 nasty ones a month.  I have seen several doctors that all tell me the same things. You are a women that is why you have them. Oh really am I a women??? Thank you for sharing that tidbit with me!  I am so glad your 7 years of medical school paid off for you jerk! My 3 year old nephew could have told me that.  Or my favorite one of all, just get pregnant they will go away! Well, if I could get freaking pregnant that might be a nice 9 month fix. What about when I am no longer pregnant? I just get so frustrated laying in bed dying...wondering if I am ever going to get over these migraines.  

If anyone knows any great cures I am all ears! 

New Year--New Resolution

As the new year approaches we all think about what are New Year's Resolutions will be. As for me I have had mine taped to my computer for about a month now. It came to me in the from of a Dove Promise. The delicous chocolate candies that have a saying in the wrapper. It read Be fearless. I find this deeply meaningful one because I don't think that I have ever been fearless in my entire life. Two because I think certain things find you when you need them most. This one happened to find me as I was going to pitch a huge program to a large customer I have been dying to get. I need to to read those words. Be Fearless.

For me as this new year starts I am going to try and live my life by being fearless. I am not only going to apply it to my infertility but my everyday life too. For starters I am going to try IVF again as we ring in the new year. This time will be different though. I have been through it twice now. I know what to expect. So I am going to be go through the process by being fearless. Every twinge and ache I am not going to stress. I am going to enjoy...yes enjoy every shot, every exam, and every blood draw as this amazing step on my path to a baby.

Being fearless in my everyday life is going to be a little trickier. I think I am a person that pretty much likes to play it safe. I don't generally try things if I think they will make me feel stupid or awkward. So for the New Year and the New Fearless me I am going to try new things when ever they present themselves to me! So here is to the New Year, hopefully a New Baby, and a New fearless Me!

Be Fearless!