6 Weeks

Can you believe it 6 weeks until my due date?? I know I haven't been here for a bit. I have been super busy but I do have a lot to tell. First of all my honey and went on our baby moon in October. I was amazing we flew to Portland and drove down the Oregon Coast to San Fransisco. I will make another post just about our trip. It was amazing. We had so much fun and even plan to take our little on back next summer. Then in November I had my baby shower. I will do a separate post about this too. It was so much fun and I got tons of great things for my baby. I think I am almost ready for him to come. Then the first week of December I got so sick I was in bed for a week! It has been a crazy few months!

I can believe how fast the time has gone by. I keep looking at my belly thinking how can something I longed for for so long really be here? B and I talk about what we are most nervous about for the baby to come. His fears are my delivery worrying that the baby and I will both be safe and healthy. My fears are not the same. I am not even scared or worried about the actual labor and delivery of my baby. I can handle pain and having my legs spread for the world to see. I had to do that getting pregnant. I am more worried about actually bringing the baby home. I keep thinking what if I am not a good mother? Will I know what my baby wants and needs? What if my mothers intuition doesn't kick in?? Can I keep hims safe, healthy, and happy? I am more worried about not knowing what to do or not being good at being a mother than anything. I mean I have wanted this for so long it scares me that I might fail at it.

But for now I am just enjoying the fact that my baby is still inside me. Knowing that while he is still there I can keep him safe. I take comfort in those jabs and kicks. Feeling him makes me so happy thinking of the little one that I am sharing my body with. It is truly an amazing experience.