Waiting

I saw my Dr. on Friday he said that he thinks that I am not a defect and that there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I am just one of the lucky ones that at my age is in the 4% of people that have two miscarriage in a row. Don't you just love fun statistics?? Anyway I am going to be getting blood drawn on practically everything to make sure for sure that I don't have some crazy weird problem that could be causing the miscarriages. The good news my Dr had for me was that I have about and 80% chance of carrying my next pregnancy to term. That made me feel a little better. However, I am not ready to try again and don't know when I will be. I feel like if I do have another miscarriage that I am going to have them the rest of my life and never be a mother. My Dr tells me that is not true but still I can think what I want to right?? So right now I just plan on waiting. Waiting to hear about my blood work. Waiting to see when I feel up to it. Waiting to so see if the pain goes away. Waiting to see if I can find myself again.