I used to always believe that babies came to earth when God wanted them to. They came when they came. After finding myself on the path of infertility I found myself wondering how God could be part of something so scientific. I thought to myself if God couldn't give me a body that got pregnant naturally then science would fix it. Science would bring me a baby. But I still often wondered if my doctors ever saw God in what they they did.
All week long I have been thinking a lot about me not being pregnant. Wondering how God and science could both fail me. And I have to say I have found my answer in God. I have to admit I was very surprised to come to this conclusion. I just thought there was seriously something wrong with me. However, after looking at the things in my life I have realized that it would not be the right time for me to deliver next month. The things that are happening in my family, my husband's business, and just in myself personally right now it wouldn't be right. I have come to the conclusion that God does have his hands in the scientific. So after many days of soul searching I know this for sure. I have found my faith in God again. I am going to close my eyes and jump and say I am in your hands now. God you will bring me a baby when the time is right.
Only God knows and sees the big picture. Sometimes we just get so focused on the trees we don't see the forest. So today I am stepping back and seeing the forest for the first time since being pushed down the path of infertility. As the days go on I might loose sight of the forest but at least for today I have found it and my faith in God again.
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Awe! I remember when I told whit I was pregnant that you were going to have twins. I can not even imagine how hard it is but I will pray that that sweet baby will come to you when its right cuz I think you guys would make beautiful little babies:) You will be the best mom ever!
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