For the most part I can make it through the day a fairly happy person. I can put a smile on my face and say to myself I am strong!! I am not going to be sad today. Then I will see something that sets me off. For example, I was in Vegas last weekend and my sweet hubby took me to my favorite outlet for some shopping. I was wondering around the mall super happy when I came across a pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said expecting..... ugh like she needed to tell the whole world. We know you have the Golden Ticket we are not clueless your giant boobs and belly give it away for you. Seeing things like this remind me how pregnant I am not and how adorable I would think that shirt was if I was.
I got over the pregnant girl and made it back to work this week. We have outlet stores at the site of the corporate office where I work. I took a trip over there Monday and found another thing that made me cry. One of the stores is of home decor stuff they sell those Demdaco figurines. One of them is of two little babies. Twins I saw it on my way out and I teared up. I picked them up and didn't want to put them down. Those sweet little babies remind me of the two I have lost and the two I so desperately want. I secretly long for a set of twins. I hope that after all I have to go through to get pregnant I should get two! Today is Wednesday and I am still thinking about those little babies. Hoping they are sign that one day I will have babies. So today I find myself clinging to the hope that one day when I feel ready I will try again and I will have my twins.
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